Fuck You, Cancer!

Brain Cancer 1 Minute

If you exclusively read positive posts, or if you are easily offended or squeamish, please skip this post and we’ll catch up later. Today I needed to vent but I know it’s not right for everyone. Much Love, LahLa

God help me, Cancer, if I ever meet you in person, not your cowardly slither into someone’s body, but YOU- Show Your Fucking Face! I will beat the everloving shit out of you!

I will choke you. I will break you. I will rip you apart with my bare hands. I will drown you. I will burn you. I’ll blow you up. I’ll run you over with my car- over and over. I’ll kick you. I’ll stomp on your head until it breaks. I’ll squeeze you until you ooze through my fingers. I’ll bring thousands of insects to eat your bloody, nasty body. I hate you, Cancer! With everything you did to me, now I hate too. Fuck you, Cancer. You don’t deserve to be on this earth!

Sorry- I needed to vent… Not one of the positive, hopeful, inspiring messages I usually strive to send, but if you feel like this too, you’re not alone.

Side note: this post was originally written a month ago but not published because 1) I was embarrassed to show my anger, and 2) it is in conflict with one of my previous posts, “The Cancer Battle- Perspective in Action”. I chose to publish it today because 1) it’s 9/11 and, though this has nothing to do with 9/11, it invoked some feelings I want to let out, and 2) I have something more specific to say about this content and it’s relation to my other blog. I plan on writing about it sometime in the future rather than taking the focus off of what I wanted to say today.

Published by Lahla

I am a brain cancer survivor living life after emergency-mode. I’ve gone through everything you hear about, finding out you have cancer, surgery, treatment, making plans, getting help, being unconscious, and so on. I may refer back to that... Shit, it may COME back to that! But for now, I’d like to talk about life AFTER the emergency mode that brain cancer brings. I’d like to talk about normal, regular, everyday life when part of your brain is gone and the rest takes over. I’d like to talk about normal, regular, everyday life when your perspective changes. I’d like to talk about normal, regular, everyday life when others see you differently and they either get you or they don’t. I’ve spent over three and a half years holding this in, mainly because I didn’t want to be labeled as having brain cancer. Many people fail to understand what that label brings. It’s not the same as denial- think about that. However, after all this time, I realize that holding onto it feels like cancer. I didn’t chose cancer but I had chosen to hold onto what felt like cancer. Not any more. So here it goes. I hope you get something good out of it, my brain cancer freeish, everyday life perspective.

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