It’s finally dawned on me what’s going on. Maybe cancer can’t be created or destroyed but can convert from one form to another? For the last four years, my “cancer” has been dormant because my MRIs and bloodwork show that, but something has been creeping around. Something has been living on my body, mind, and spirit and I feel like I’m fighting to get back to normal. Images, feelings, fears- the new form of cancer. The disease that evades tests and checkups. It still eats at your soul. Can I defy science and make it go away or is there a way I’m supposed to live with it?
Cancer’s State of Matter
Published by Lahla
I am a brain cancer survivor living life after emergency-mode. I’ve gone through everything you hear about, finding out you have cancer, surgery, treatment, making plans, getting help, being unconscious, and so on. I may refer back to that... Shit, it may COME back to that! But for now, I’d like to talk about life AFTER the emergency mode that brain cancer brings. I’d like to talk about normal, regular, everyday life when part of your brain is gone and the rest takes over. I’d like to talk about normal, regular, everyday life when your perspective changes. I’d like to talk about normal, regular, everyday life when others see you differently and they either get you or they don’t. I’ve spent over three and a half years holding this in, mainly because I didn’t want to be labeled as having brain cancer. Many people fail to understand what that label brings. It’s not the same as denial- think about that. However, after all this time, I realize that holding onto it feels like cancer. I didn’t chose cancer but I had chosen to hold onto what felt like cancer. Not any more. So here it goes. I hope you get something good out of it, my brain cancer freeish, everyday life perspective. View all posts by Lahla