I wish my feelings and thoughts were clear. Feelings are messy, jumbled, yet directive, leading to a questionable path. Or are they? Do our actions go where our minds are afraid to? Despite all effort, don't we keep ending up in the same place we desperately wish to avoid? Next time I'll stop, endure until … Continue reading Clear
Deep Thoughts. Sometimes I Wonder…
Sometimes I wonder if God kept me alive through brain cancer because I'm the only human being in my household who knows how to change a toilet paper roll...
How Do You Know?
How do you know when the weight you’re carrying is just holding you down and when it’s indicating you need to go another way? I’ve concluded that it needs to go, but when is it forgiveness with some assurance it won’t happen again and when is it making sure it won’t happen again? Is there … Continue reading How Do You Know?
Doing Something Outside Myself
After emergency mode it can be hard to pick up the pieces and get back to normal. Actually, in my experience you don't really "get back," rather, you create new. However, I'm not sure whether that's true for everyone. Anyway, approaching your own normal concept is challenging too. One thing I've found especially helpful is … Continue reading Doing Something Outside Myself
Cancer’s State of Matter
It's finally dawned on me what's going on. Maybe cancer can't be created or destroyed but can convert from one form to another? For the last four years, my "cancer" has been dormant because my MRIs and bloodwork show that, but something has been creeping around. Something has been living on my body, mind, and … Continue reading Cancer’s State of Matter
Moments of Gratitude 1
Since being diagnosed with brain cancer I've experienced many moments of gratitude. They warm my heart, make me stop and acknowledge the many positives in my life, and help shape my overall attitude. Prior to just now, I've kept them private. I'm choosing to share some publicly now for three reasons: 1) it's the first … Continue reading Moments of Gratitude 1
Cancer Defining Me vs. Denial = OMG Insanity!
This pictures best reflects what it feels like to have a normal life with brain cancer without being defined by cancer. The following one represents what most days are like: Thanks Free Photo Library for saying it best! Sometimes words aren’t enough!
Words blurred and I lost consciousness. My eyes opened but that was all. Questions. Answers flooded my mind, but hid from my lips. Modeled to the crowd - injected into the wheeled circus. Bed paraded down the hall, as if it takes that many to push it. Cancer haunted rooms, tests, and lips. Eerie. Silent. … Continue reading Diagnosed
We Are Wired For Survival, Not Happiness?
Just a normal life topic. Brain cancer doesn’t have to define us!
Crushed Caramel Has Nominated Me for the Mystery Blogger Award!
I'm so excited to begin 2019 with this blog! Crushed Caramel has nominated me for the Mystery Blogger Award! It's a super exciting experience and the timing has been yet another gift and blessing! This award and experience helps me to take a deep breath from some difficult issues in my recent past and shift … Continue reading Crushed Caramel Has Nominated Me for the Mystery Blogger Award!